The Portfolio Plan

1.) What to change in the research essay:

• Intro. - Do not begin with a quote, begin with personal statement on what eating disorders are. Also, define the thesis more (state clearly that there should be a weight limit.)
• Fix run-on sentences in 1st body paragraph
• Relate binge eating to over-all eating disorders and how relates to models (clarify) in paragraph 2
• Go back to Kylie Bisutti's story and add in in-text citations. Also, add in that models are not strictly to blame because the standards to be a model are strict (clarify) in paragraph 3.
• Take out some rhetorical questions in paragraph 4
• For support bit number 5, show how models aren't directly to blame , but play a role in the psychological factor that leads to eating disorders, so that's why there should be a weight limit.
• Find  a source for the standards of beauty support bit.
• Clear up conclusion by making a statement about how although models are not the sole reason for eating disorders, they play a role in the beginning phases of developing a disorder, so the U.S. should create a weight limit in order to emphasize what true beauty is.

2.) News report on reflective essay:

• Introduce essay with how I started out in class, what I knew what I didn't, my thoughts, ect.
• Thesis: Eng. 121 has improved my overall writing skills...
• Explain writing the mini essay and revising is (my initial thoughts)
• Comparing essays and seeing the growth and new understandings
• Discuss my preferred type of writing (creative) vs. my least favorite type of writing (research) and how my creative writing  is better than my research essays.
• How I can improve my writing from all the feedback I have gotten (from both peers and professor.)
• Conclude with my overall journey ( the ups and downs)
• Thesis #2: My writing may have be rough at the beginning of the semester, but I have seen myself grow and am excited to continue to grow.

3.) Which essay I will choose and why:
I will choose to add the descriptive essay because I believe that it showcases my strengths the most. Because I typically enjoy writing creative pieces, this essay exemplified why I enjoy writing them and how descriptive I personally feel about certain topics. I do still need to go back and fix pieces that I was given feedback on and even add in more personal descriptions. After I have completed a few more revisions I am confident that not only my strengths in writing, but my personality as well will shine through.

By: Sydney Evans