One Portfolio to Rule Them All...

well it seems that the semester is ending and the final looms over the class. Passing, or failing sits upon a knife edge;one which is wielded by not only our instructor, but one of her peers as well. We must prepare an end of year portfolio and it must include papers to which prove our competence on the field of English 121.

The research paper, the shield in which I hope can guide me to a passing grade, is still weak. My examples need photos, like the shield needs ribs for strength. I must add more facts to polish my perspective, then I can truly blind my foes with the glare of research.

To add to my success, an essay, sharp as a spear, the reflective essay can be the point which can lead my way through this battle. Assessing my papers for the class, I'll be able to create an reflective essay  that will confirm my victory. The instructor and her peer will see how my skills have improved from my start, where i was only armed with a rock and now have come to battle with a well crafted spear.

In the heat of the battle, I have only one trick, like magic or sorcery, my Media review essay will distract my foes though humor and charm. With this essay, the battle I will win, because it shows my paper writing talent and ability that my instructor armed me with. So with the grammar, and structure skills I have learned I will build my shield, and sharpen my spear because this will be a fight to pass.  

The Portfolio Plan

1. What will I change in the research paper:
• Fix the formatting that makes the spaces between paragraphs appear double spaced.
• Clarify my first thesis.
• Fix in text citations and capitalization errors.
• take out unneeded words and add more expressive verbs in places were they are rather plain.
• ALTER THE TWO PLACES WHERE I USED THE SAME QUOTE.
• Clarify some points about Banksy. Probably remodel the whole paragraph about him to fix the reasons why, what his work does, and the prior to what point.
• Add in figure 1 in the Banksy paragraph.
2.  News Report on Reflective Essay:
• The thesis will introduce that I have made a few important improvements in my writing this semester.
• I probably use my media review essay as the basis for my reflective essay, describing how sub-par my prior writings were in comparison that leads me to believe so.
• I will use the essays in my portfolio to show my strength with active verbs and better wording that improve the overall aesthetics of the papers.
• I will bring up where I started using an outline to help organize the structure and clarity of papers.
• I will express how I need to improve my understanding of grammar in writing papers since I am generally able to be moderately grammatically correct but I do not understand WHY it is grammatically correct.
• I will conclude my paper by express my belief that even though I have not made a major jump in progress from the beginning, I have learned a lot through the baby steps I have taken. Overall the outcome has improved my current writing skills and I've taken one step closer to becoming a proficient, competent writer.
3.  Which Essay Will I Choose and Why:
• I feel like I will probably choose the event/media review essay to demonstrate my writing skills because this essay will be the one in which my more refined skills will be used to write the essay and it will be more thought out than I feel that the other two are. I also feel like I will be more passionate about the subject and understand what I am doing so much more than I was in the prior essays.
• I might choose the descriptive essay because I feel more comfortable with descriptions than I do with examples. I will only do this, though, if I do not feel comfortable with how the event/media review is turning out.

By Sierra Baumann

The Portfolio Plan

1.) What to change in the research essay:

• Intro. - Do not begin with a quote, begin with personal statement on what eating disorders are. Also, define the thesis more (state clearly that there should be a weight limit.)
• Fix run-on sentences in 1st body paragraph
• Relate binge eating to over-all eating disorders and how relates to models (clarify) in paragraph 2
• Go back to Kylie Bisutti's story and add in in-text citations. Also, add in that models are not strictly to blame because the standards to be a model are strict (clarify) in paragraph 3.
• Take out some rhetorical questions in paragraph 4
• For support bit number 5, show how models aren't directly to blame , but play a role in the psychological factor that leads to eating disorders, so that's why there should be a weight limit.
• Find  a source for the standards of beauty support bit.
• Clear up conclusion by making a statement about how although models are not the sole reason for eating disorders, they play a role in the beginning phases of developing a disorder, so the U.S. should create a weight limit in order to emphasize what true beauty is.

2.) News report on reflective essay:

• Introduce essay with how I started out in class, what I knew what I didn't, my thoughts, ect.
• Thesis: Eng. 121 has improved my overall writing skills...
• Explain writing the mini essay and revising is (my initial thoughts)
• Comparing essays and seeing the growth and new understandings
• Discuss my preferred type of writing (creative) vs. my least favorite type of writing (research) and how my creative writing  is better than my research essays.
• How I can improve my writing from all the feedback I have gotten (from both peers and professor.)
• Conclude with my overall journey ( the ups and downs)
• Thesis #2: My writing may have be rough at the beginning of the semester, but I have seen myself grow and am excited to continue to grow.

3.) Which essay I will choose and why:
I will choose to add the descriptive essay because I believe that it showcases my strengths the most. Because I typically enjoy writing creative pieces, this essay exemplified why I enjoy writing them and how descriptive I personally feel about certain topics. I do still need to go back and fix pieces that I was given feedback on and even add in more personal descriptions. After I have completed a few more revisions I am confident that not only my strengths in writing, but my personality as well will shine through.

By: Sydney Evans

Date or Die: Grammar Edition

By: Sierra Baumann, Ben Weakland, Sydney Evans, and Ahnun Brainerd